Friday, August 23, 2013

There is a light at the end of the tunnel...

This blog post is not intended to make you think that I dislike being a mom, but rather to support those that have or are going through the questioning as to whether or not there is a light at the end of the tunnel when is comes to raising little ones.

My sweet Julia just turned 7 months (as of August 20th), and to tell you the truth up until two weeks ago I would be lying to you if I said "I love motherhood."  This doesn't mean that there weren't moments during her first six month of life that I didn't love, I mean who can resist her smile and giggles :)  But truly, up till about two weeks ago, her temperament was soooo unpredictable.  For the most part, she was semi-happy or screaming (no, I don't think that she had colic, I think that she is/was a baby...).  Those of you who know me and her, are probably sitting there aghast - "How can Kimberlee say such things?!?!"  I remember speaking to a dear friend in years past, and her describing this same thing.  She mentioned that she wouldn't mind skipping the first few to six months and moving right into the fun times.  I think what happened (at least with Jordan and me) is Julia was very busy growing and it wore her out and the only way she could express herself was to scream.  I mean, she started army crawling two-three months ago and then all she focused on was how to crawl.  She started crawling a few weeks ago and is now pulling up on anything that she thinks is stable.  Not to mention, right now she is cutting two teeth.  That is A LOT for one little body to take.  So, why am I writing this?  It isn't to complain, I promise.  Instead for two reasons:

1.  For those of you with little ones.  It will get better.  I know that you hear this all the time from people and you also here that time flies and you are sick of hearing these things and probably want to step on the toes of those that tell you this stuff.  But, they are not lying... Time does fly, I was looking at Julia sitting up and playing with a teether and I pulled open a video on my iPad of her just maybe three days old.  In this video, she was as stable as a rag doll and needed me for everything.  She still needs me for almost everything but what a difference today is compared to January 20th, 2013 (when she was born).  It will get better... when you are in the midst of the screaming call someone... find someone that will just listen.  I remember expressing frustration to someone during this time, and they didn't realize that I was just venting and they actually somewhat chided me for the way I was feeling.  If you are the person that someone is speaking to, don't chide them unless you think that they would harm their little one.

2.  I am writing this because one day IF Jordan and I decide to add to our family through birthing a baby, I have a feeling my brain (what is left of it that is) will not remember any of this, at least not to the extent that I do today.  I will need to read back on some of these thoughts and remind myself that it will eventually get better.

So, there is a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak.  I am getting to see rays of it daily with Miss Julia. She is very smart.  She smiles so much and loves getting kisses.  She is even trying to kiss others.  We have fun playing a rendition of "peek-a-boo." She sits at the dinner table with us every evening and is trying new foods (whatever we are eating).  Some of the things she has tried includes: buttered dill carrots, pasta, pizza crust, green beans, artichokes, etc...  I have a horrible feeling that she will be walking before I am ready. My favorite time of the day is first thing in the morning with her.  I am blessed with an amazing husband that does her evening and morning feedings and gives me a break.  After her morning feedings, Jordan comes downstairs with her and sits with her on the couch, while I load or unload a dishwasher and get my coffee ready (MUST HAVE TWO CUPS to get through the day!!).  What I love about this time, is watching her with her daddy.  She snuggles up to him - she puts her head on his chest and has her little arms wrapped around him, and she just lays there contently for 15+ minutes.  I need to get a picture sometime (Jordan would kill me - he is in boxers and a T-Shirt).  

I will end with some fun photos of Miss Julia.

1 comment:

Hattie said...

What you are feeling and have felt is ok. I remember the first 6 months of Charlotte's life thinking that it would never get better. I would never sleep again or have nervy again. But I did. And it has been so much better the second time around. You are doing great. Love you sweet friend!